This quote contains two crucial elements of our lack of happiness: The Ego and Desire. Desire is the driver of “free will”. This article compares science and mysticism regarding free will, desire and ego.
Many who read Part One will still be convinced that their will is free, at least partly. Most people will acknowledge that determinism affects their lives to some degree - think of that last natural disaster - but to ditch it completely feels counter-intuitive, if not outright depressing. We feel compelled to pursue our desires. Without it, why do we live at all?
As mentioned in Part One, personal free will is one of the most profound ingrained human concepts, especially in capitalistic and agnostic Western societies. How this concept evolved and how it might serve certain powerful people and institutions is another fascinating topic that deserves exploration, but not today.
Scientific Research on free will and the Ego
We have been conditioned for several generations into our current egoic materialistic thinking. That won’t change overnight.
The older we get, the harder it is to learn or even consider new things. The energy costs of forming new brain connections - neoplasticity - increase as we age. That’s why you can’t teach an old dog new tricks.
But then again, we are not dogs.
Despite the Covid science debacle, most people still trust scientists the most regarding institutional leaders.
Would you like scientific proof? Then, I give you serious science:
What does it mean?
On several different levels, from neurotransmitters through neuron firing rates to overall activity, the brain seems to "ramp up" before movements. This image depicts the readiness potential (RP), a ramping-up activity measured using EEG. The onset of the RP begins before the start of a conscious intention or urge to act. Some have argued that this indicates the brain unconsciously commits to a decision before consciousness awareness. Others have argued that this activity is due to random fluctuations in brain activity, which drive arbitrary, purposeless movements (emphasis by me)
In other words
One significant finding of modern studies is that a person's brain seems to commit to certain decisions before the person becomes aware of having made them. Researchers have found a delay of about half a second or more (discussed in sections below). […] These and other findings have led some scientists, like Patrick Haggard, to reject some definitions of "free will".
In other words, a decision is made about an action before we are aware of it. Then, in hindsight, we attribute the action to ourselves as if we made the decision. This brings us to the millennia-old wisdom repeated by sages in many different spiritual traditions: “Free will is an illusion.”
But it gets even better than that. Not only is free will an illusion, but scientists discovered that “the sense of I” might also be a mental illusion. Which, again, has been repeated by mystics throughout the ages.
But who believes in mystics these days? They do not even make it on the trust graph above. However, when I put “a mystic” into the search field of the image database Unsplash I get this photo:
Not what you expected? Mystics come in all shapes and forms these days. Indian yogis with long white beards and intense staring eyes are so last century.
However, we tend to believe it much more if it comes from science. A lot of neuroscience research has been done with a part of the brain called the Default Mode Network (DMN).
Our brain automatically brings together memory and thought and integrates both of these with our sense of self. Some scientists have said that the DMN is where the ‘self’ is located; it is the “me, myself, and I” network.
Researchers did brain scans on people under the influence of psychedelic drugs and on experienced meditators. They found that, in both cases, the DMN network was more or less disabled, and the subjects experienced states of ego dissolution, including profound life-changing mystical experiences. A summary of the link between DMN, the ego and psychedelics can be found here.
Spirituality could therefore be defined as “the absence of ego”. But, once again, advanced meditators knew that two thousand years ago.
So, if the “I” is simply a part of our brain called Default Mode Network that can be switched on or off, we maybe have to redefine our relationship with this “me, myself and I”. We also have to think about that part of ourselves that isn’t “me, myself and I”.
I mean, did the people in the brain scan that had their sense of “I” measurable dissolved through the inactivation of the DMN network suddenly disappear from the surface of the earth?
How people react to having their “Ego” removed from themselves with psychedelics often depends on proper preparations, called set and settings. Some might get a little spooked in the wrong company and place…..
….while others discover a whole new way of being:
Seriously, there appears to be much more to us than “the sense of I” or the “ego”. Trained mediators or self-enquirers can observe their egos in real-time. Which leads to the question: Who is doing the observing? And the short answer is:
THE REAL YOU
Now let’s hear what the mystics have to say about this.
Teachings of the Mystics on free will and Ego
The distinction between the false I (Ego) and the true I (Self) is at the core of almost every spiritual teaching. Other terminologies for the ego are “the person” or “self” with a small s, while the real you is often referred to as “Self” with a capital S. In other words, the “I” you think you are is almost always not your true SELF. This can cause conflict:
We don’t need a sword to kill the ego. We actually can not kill the ego because it is an illusion. It only lives in our mind as a bundle of beliefs, emotions, memories and thoughts. The Ego lives in the cloud. You are here. Disconnect from it, and it’s gone. Reconnect to it, and it’s back. It is that simple.
My current working definition of Self is: “The process of being fully aware of what is unfolding at this moment.” That is at the core of most spiritual practices.
You are here. Life happens. From moment to moment. You are in total harmony with the universe. Then, after a while, you suddenly might “fall” into non-self-consciousness. The observer and the observed become one - and a dynamic state of relaxed observing of what “is” happens. Some call it flow-state.
Whatever happens, is accepted as it is. You glide from moment to moment. You follow the unfolding of existence. You might stay seated, get up and eat a piece of Salami, or start cleaning the bathroom. Life continues as it always does, not caring about your ego.
Events roll on as usual—wave after wave. But your relationship with them changes dramatically. Your constantly reflecting and judging witness - your self-conscious state - temporarily goes to sleep. Ahhhhh - finally, peace. How blissful. Your husband’s snoring sounds like a divine symphony that you thoroughly enjoy.
A Zen master once was asked:
“What did you do before enlightenment?”
“I chopped wood and fetched water”, he replied.
“And what do you do after enlightenment?”
“Chop wood and fetch water.”
And then…..you get hijacked again by a sensation, emotion or thought that you think happens to YOU (EGO). You attach yourself to it. And off you go, back to daily hell. And the world is not neutral and peaceful anymore.
That’s called “the great illusion”. You are on an ego trip whenever you are imagining or thinking about things without knowing that you are imagining or thinking about things. Adyashanti said that the ego is always unconscious.
Those trips often end on a wild ocean with waves crashing on you, and you fight for your imaginary ego life. (See Part I)
How does that relate to “free will”?
“Free will” is so ingrained in our psyche that most people never even question that it could be any other way. This is even though newborns don’t have any observable “free will”. Nor do they have a sense of individual self, a pre-condition for “free will”. In other words, free will needs a “willer” based on a separate personal sense of “I” or Ego.
A newborn doesn't realise they are a separate person. (Source)
This quote is based on Western psychological research. It confirms the non-dualistic viewpoint that we are not separate individual beings, at least at birth. Therefore, we all have a felt experience of how it is to live without ego and free will - we simply don’t remember it. Or do we sometimes?
Don’t we sometimes fall into these uncaused states of simple natural contentedness and happiness? Flow states? If we do, we usually don’t connect it to a state of egolessness or relate it to our beingness as a newborn.
Mystics of all ages and traditions keep telling us that the state of egolessness is surprisingly simple and very familiar. Nisragdatta calls it the “natural state”.
The only difference between us is that I am aware of my natural state, while you are bemused.
Nisargadatta Maharej, I AM THAT, P. 11
Most spiritual people imagine enlightenment or being in heaven as something beyond this ordinary natural life, sometimes only achievable after death. These are direct quotes from someone claiming to live in such a state.
The words of Jesus or other prophets often have been written down several generations after their death by ordinary humans. As a result, there are several versions of the bible. One truth - several versions of it? That alone should make us suspicious.
There was a lot of Chinese whispers going on beforehand. No wonder the bible is confusing to read or to make sense of for most modern scientifically thinking people.
No wonder these spiritual texts need a religious middle-man to interpret these words. This doesn’t mean that the odd mystical-inclined person has a proper direct understanding of these words. Meister Eckhard comes to mind.
But when they do, it usually puts them at odds with the reigning religious leaders, and they typically get expelled from the church, if not killed.
Fortunately, the monopoly and spiritual control of organised religions is breaking up. More and more people realise that they can draw on many mystics outside of the churches. And many are alive right now and can be found on YouTube.
A true revolution of spirituality is bound to happen. People will start to re-claim their direct individual access to spirit. Once again, they will form their unique personal understanding, rituals and relationship with spirit. This relationship with the universal spirit has been part of human culture since the beginning of time. Or, as some claim, since humans started eating magic mushrooms for the first time and transcended their ego doing so.
Are psychedelics the antidote for the forbidden fruit from the Tree of Knowledge that got us kicked out of paradise? Maybe another substack article was just born out of thin air.
Eve: “Hey, Adam, try that mushroom. I feel like I am back in paradise.”
Adam: “How can I trust you ever again?”
Eve: “You can’t. Grow a pair. Stop blaming me. Make your own decisions.”
The clarity and direct personal experiences of fully realised masters are of immense value to us and widely accessible. While they all represent the same spirit, their teaching style and approach are highly individual and therefore cater for a wide range of personal understanding and needs in the seekers.
The biggest crime of the catholic church, and other religions, lie in their exclusive arrogance, as I pointed out in my previous substack: Christian Arrogance - the only way to god is through Jesus?
They say it is either our way or no way to God. This is a terrible crime because it turns millions if not billions, of people who can’t relate to the highly confusing man-made bible into agnostics.
But without a proper meaningful connection to spirit that works for us, we are lost in a meaningless materialistic body-centred life with no happy end. There is one certainty in this life: We will all die. Whatever we accumulate will become meaningless. Even Bezos support yacht for his superyacht. (See Part One)
When did we start to elevate billionaires to role models? Why do we think that people that are great at making a lot of money are great people? When did Gates, Musk and Benzos replace our great poets, thinkers and mystics? What makes people think that billionaires like Benzos, Musk or Gates have our well-being at heart?
Mystics do.
Some more quotes confirm that there is nothing magic or otherwordly in spirituality. In contrast, we all experienced it as newborns. It is a natural state we can reclaim here and now if we want it.
Therein lies the genius technique of non-dualistic self-enquiry. It uses our ego’s illusion of free will and desire to eliminate it. All desire is bundled into the biggest last desire: Enlightenment. This evokes the illusionary free will to do the practice. The practice of self-inquiry then dissolves the ego.
It is like using a wooden stick to stir the bonfire of the ego. The ego burns, and with it, the wooden stick. The egoic mind eliminates itself.
Many people don’t realise that any spiritual practice is driven by desire and, therefore, egoic.
Q: Then, how do you know you are in the supreme state?
M: Because I am in it. It is the only natural state.
Nisargadatta Maharej, I AM THAT, P. 18
I am convinced that a newborn would express its state in a similar way.
All Buddhist traditions claim that the nature of our mind is luminous - that is to say, the natural state of our mind is free, open, and pure awareness (Source)
M: Yes, you are always the Supreme. But your attention is fixed on things, physical or mental. When your attention is off a thing and not yet fixed on another, in the interval you are pure being. When through the practice of discrimination and detachment (viveka-vairagya), you lose sight of sensory and mental states, pure being emerges as the natural state.
Nisargadatta Maharej, I AM THAT, P. 76
You will recognise that you have returned to your natural state by a complete absence of all desire and fear.
Nisargadatta Maharej, I AM THAT, P. 246
M: For reality to be, the ideas of 'me' and 'mine' must go. They will go if you let them. Then your normal natural state reappears, in which you are neither the body nor the mind, neither the 'me’ nor the 'mine', but in a different state of being altogether. It is pure awareness of being, without being this or that, without any self-identification with anything in particular, or in general. In that pure light of consciousness there is nothing, not even the idea of nothing. There is only light.
Nisargadatta Maharej, I AM THAT, P. 286
Notice: “Your normal, natural state reappears.” Nothing new has to be achieved or discovered. We already are what we seek. We don’t remember and look the wrong way.
Often it goes like this. We have a sudden moment of total peace and happiness. It feels amazing. It usually is caused by a sudden absence of self-consciousness. We, the subject, melt with the observed object. The duality of observer and observed is temporarily transcended and turns into a state of simple “observing”’, just being thoughtless in the here and now, exactly like a newborn.
It feels fantastic but also very ordinary and familiar. No trumpets playing, no gates of heaven opening. These are just imaginary bullshit stories made up by humans.
Then the ego comes back, trying to grab the experience, saying something like: “Oh, that feels great. I want this all the time. How did I do that? What did I do? If I can only understand that, I can repeat it and be content and happy.
Did you notice the five “I’s” above? Do you remember the first image of this article?
The only obstacle in the way to bliss and happiness is the Ego.
The Ego wants to grab all the time. It gets attached to it. It desires. It tries to analyse and understand it to repeat it consciously.
But that’s not how it works. The ego can not only not obtain it; its presence is the obstacle that constantly distracts us from our always-present natural state.
In future parts, we will look at how Ego developed after our blissful newborn state and how we can apply what we have learned about free will and Ego in everyday life.
Part Three:
A tiny observation from my daily life, re your paragraphs on “…brain seems to ramp up before movements….before the start of a conscious intention or urge to act….”
You know that animals can read our minds, right? Well, they do, like my chicken Violet and my cats, Oliver and Annie. That is, they read our intentions, not our minds.
The cats would drive me bat-crazy with their crying and begging to be fed every morning as I prepare breakfast — if I were not able to tune them out. But I began to notice that it is when I stop for a second to “decide” that I will stop preparations to feed the cats — and suddenly their mewling cries turn to cries of excited anticipation as their bodies turn circles around my legs — before I have begun the movements toward the cat food cupboard.
“How’d they know that?” I ask myself!
Bless you.
Can't help myself: https://youtu.be/seqaTuXkqFI?si=8bUnbEQg2nQo3NKC (George Harrison)