The Suicide Of Dr Jackie Stone Is A Victory For Humanity, Love, Dignity, Pride, and Courage.

I believe that she was not a desperate victim driven to suicide - she made a conscious spiritual choice.

This article was originally a personal message to my new friend, Doc Malic, in the comment section of his beautiful, moving, and heartfelt tribute to Dr. Jackie Stone, which brought tears to my eyes.

But when I wanted to post it, it was too long for the comment section. So, I wrote this Substack and added the link for Ahmad to read instead.

Good morning, my sad friend.

Thank you for your lovely tribute - I cried on the starry, starry night bit - which has been one of my favourite songs all my life, especially that verse ending with “perhaps they never will.”

I only realized a few years ago that the song was about Vincent van Gough, the genius painter. This song always made me both sad and happy in a paradoxical way.

I was sad because I sensed the loneliness of the not-understood, heartbroken genius and happy because he was true to himself. He lived his true self and full potential, ignoring cruel societal judgements. And when his work was done, he chose to die.

Suicide, in our shallow world, filled with billions of little frightened chickens, is misunderstood and outlawed by religious stupidity and is often automatically associated with despair and failure of the person committing it.

It is hardly ever seen as the noble, conscious, deeply spiritual choice it can be for wise and brave people. These few people don’t need to be saved by us—they are way ahead of us.

I read about Dr Jackie Stone in the comment section of CJ Hopkin’s last Substack.

I had never heard of her before, but I was intrigued and watched the video of her last interview (sorry, I can’t find the link at the moment—it is somewhere deep in the comment section of CJ Hopkins's article).

After watching the video, I commented on it but also copied and saved the comment in my Substack draft folder because I thought she is a sad but simultaneously powerful and beautiful example of a true dissident.

“Disillusioned Dissident Losers” is the working title of the second Chapter of my Chapter Substack, “The Path To Freedom,” and I wanted to mention and honour her in that chapter.

Then I opened Substack this morning, and the first thing I see is your beautiful, heartfelt tribute.

Here is what I spontaneously wrote down after I watched her video, not knowing anything about her story at all, based on the way she talked and conducted herself in her last interview:

To me, this is a woman who looked the beast in the eye and refused the temptation to sugarcoat it. And I agree with her: The totalitarian train has long left the station and can't be stopped with practical social or political solutions anymore. They are too powerful now, and it has to play out. On a practical level, we can't destroy it, but it will destroy itself.

From there, we have two ways out: Leaving this earth because we don't want to witness and suffer through what is coming. (And, btw, not every suicide is a tragic affair - it can be a conscious, beautiful and intelligent choice, not a desperate act.).

To me, she radiated a knowing acceptance of what is and an inner peace, and she didn't seem desperate at all to me.

Depending on how she died, her spiritual preparations and so forth, it could have been a conscious, spiritually liberating act. The physical death of the body, when done consciously with deep spiritual understanding, can lead to enlightenment.

I then searched for some wisdom in my favourite spiritual book, I Am That, and found this conversation:

Questioner: A friend of mine, a young man about twenty-five, was told that he is suffering from an incurable heart disease. He wrote to me that instead of slow death he preferred suicide. […]I replied to him that a disease incurable by Western medicine may be cured in some other way. There are yogic powers that can bring almost instantaneous changes in the human body. Effects of repeated fasting also verge on the miraculous. I wrote to him not to be in a hurry to die; rather to give a trial to other approaches. […]

Maharaj: Yes, miracles often take place. But there must be the will to live. Without it the miracles will not happen.

Q: Can such a desire be instilled?

M: Superficial desire, yes. But it will wear out. Fundamentally, nobody can compel another to live. Besides, there were cultures in which suicide had its acknowledged and respected place.

Q: Is it not obligatory to live out one’s natural span of life?

M: Natural -- spontaneously -- easy -- yes. But disease and suffering are not natural. There is noble virtue in unshakable endurance of whatever comes, but there is also dignity in the refusal of meaningless torture and humiliation.

When I watched her talk, a few character traits stood out for me:

Firstly, I felt she “knows” with this absolute certainty that only people who learned by direct and personal experience that the approaching totalitarian winter is unstoppable. But she also accepted that it is out of her control now, and there is nothing she can do anymore.

Secondly, she did not question herself and carried herself with pride and dignity.

There is an immense power and dignity in taking charge of our death in this conscious and knowing way. It is a mighty slap in the face of totalitarian overlords who can only rule and have power because almost everyone is scared of dying.

Bringing harm, pain and death to us is their only leverage. I believe she won the last battle by taking that leverage away by her own choice. She did not allow them to destroy and eventually kill her. She refused to be their victim.

Once again, I could not see any desperation or defeat in her mannerisms, behaviour or speech. This was not a beaten woman.

Yes, they destroyed her career, but they couldn’t destroy her.

She understood that the odds were stacked so against her that she couldn’t win despite being on the good side. She chose not to keep witnessing and live in an increasingly inhumane, dark and cruel world.

That’s why spiritual warriors who are not afraid to die have always been the most effective.

This conscious, enlightened type of suicide will send a powerful message around the globe and will wake up many more people to what is going on, of that I am sure.

Does that mean suicide is the only way out?

Absolutely not.

There is also ego death and ego suicide.

The other way out is a truly spiritual path that will lead to an ego death.

Ego death is also a form of suicide, but the physical body becomes irrelevant. It is the dis-attachment from both, the illusionary belief that we are this separated mental persona we created in our mind or that we are this physical body. It is the realization that we are neither of that but simple, ordinary, pure awareness and love in action.

That is the true meaning of spirituality—literally experiencing ourselves as pure awareness in action, wholly disattached from this body-mind we falsely call us.

Only believing this will not provide the certainty required to “know” it beyond any doubt. Any lingering doubt will evaporate as soon as we experience it through so-called “spiritual awakening experiences,” which can take many shapes and forms and are different for each of us but the same in essence. They all are the same realization of who we really are.

I have had several spiritual awakenings in the past twenty years, and the most profound one happened only a few weeks ago.

These experiences, not the hundreds of books, spiritual beliefs, and exercises I did over the past twenty years, told me everything I needed to know. I am not saying that “studying” and “practising” spirituality is useless. It is for some and not for others. Who can know such things?

Wanting these experiences is essential. Of course, there is no guarantee they will be provided. That depends on many unknowable things we can sum up with the word “Grace.” But it is guaranteed that we won’t have them if we don’t seek them out.

If we want to see the sun, we must look at the sky.

We cannot guarantee that we will see her.

It might be a cloudy, dark day.

It might be nighttime.

But if we never look up, we will never see her. As we look up more often, the longer we keep looking, the higher the odds are.

If you don’t look for God, you won’t find him. Believing it exists will help those looking for him. But only when we realise what God really means do we “know”.

Hint: It has little to do with what the regions tell us about God unless we can read between the lines of the holy books.

I once read that the moment of death is one of the best opportunities to see God if we consciously look for Him. The reason is that, on our deathbed, we have 100% given up looking to the world for solutions. And the world always veils God. We are no longer distracted by wishful thinking, fears, and desires. We see reality as it is. We see God. And it is very ordinary and simple.

An utterly astounding “how simple” has been recorded to be said by numerous people going through a spiritual awakening: no angels and hymns, no voices, no fancy colour displays, no fantastic supernatural stuff. That is just the mind “playing” being spiritual.

No, it is simply the beautiful, comforting and safe feeling of coming home again, amongst other ordinary things. But I digress, apologies.

This “coming home” can be, for the right person, facilitated by conscious suicide. That’s what I suspect and hope happened to Jackie.

So, no, I don't think you could have "saved" her, my friend.

Whatever happens happens for an infinite number of reasons. The whole universe creates the next moment.

I want to honour her death as a victory for humanity, love, dignity, pride, and courage. I want to honour her death as a profoundly spiritual act.

She is home now. And she deserves it as all great hearts do.