I was on a road trip with my teenage daughter to take her to her first real concert in Sydney, Australia. American rapper NF is playing there tonight, and I look forward to it. I have always enjoyed rap lyrics, especially those by Eminem and NF. And it feels very rewarding to be part of such a milestone in my daughter’s life - her first big concert.
On our way, we stopped at a coffee shop. I ordered an oat milk latte, and the very friendly young woman wrote it down on a piece of paper to hand to the barista. Then, I noticed that she wrote the word “black” underneath the order.
I assumed she misunderstood my order and requested a black coffee from the barista. So I said to her: “Excuse me, I see you wrote “black” under my order…..” and stopped finishing my sentence because the young lady immediately blushed extensively and apologized profoundly.
“I am so so sorry, I didn’t mean any offence”, she stuttered, red in the face.
Several times.
I was extremely puzzled. I didn’t feel offended at all and had no clue why I should be.
Then I got an inkling that this was somehow related to race and not coffee. But that was even more puzzling because my skin tone is a well-tanned white, far from black.
Then she explained: “It’s your T-shirt, Sir. I am so sorry. We write down the colour of the clothing so our waitress knows to whom to deliver it. I really didn’t mean any offence. I am so sorry.”
I felt so sorry for that girl. It was a busy coffee shop with a queue of about eight customers and five staff members behind the counter, all witnessing the exchange.
The woman was no insecure teenager on her first day at work, either. She looked confident, mature, and in her early twenties until she got confused and thrown into turmoil by her fear that she had committed the biggest crime in Wokistan: offending someone.
I did my best to normalize the situation and make her feel ok. I hope she doesn’t get fired.
I can’t imagine how exhausting and frightening it must be to triple-check every comment or gesture you make - on social media or in real life - to not break the often confusing, illogical and complicated rules of Wokistan. After all, cancellation is a terrible consequence for a generation totally dependent on everybody's approval.
That’s one of the prices you pay for extreme collectivism. I don’t envy them.
This is not to say that this isn’t a natural counter-reaction to centuries of institutionalized racism and many other “isms” that kept minorities down and marginalized.
In a dualistic, mind-based world, the pendulum has to swing back eventually. And it never stops at the rational, widely acceptable middle line and comes to rest there, doesn’t it? It has to swing to the other extreme - doing the same damage - just to different people.
And so it swings. Back and forth, back and forth. Never learning anything. An ever-shifting power pendulum harms everyone in its path and makes our collective life uncaring and miserable.
When I read "Oatmilk" I misread it as "I ordered a Wokemilk" Latte and burst out laughing. See what happens when you spend an afternoon discussing with friends "Woke" agents of change in the work place. I would have played that differently and said, "who ya all calling "black" what wrong with you gal! Ahm whiter than the butt cheeks on an albino koala n this is just a sun tan!".
That is a classic incident though. I did a survey this week and identified as "non binary aboriginal torrest strait islander, other". Only because they did not have "Colonial, fascist, white middle aged male" as a choice.
So true.